I woke up from a dream a few days ago and it has been on my heart ever since. I really felt like I needed to share it because it may be a blessing to someone.
In my dream, I was walking through a neighborhood and it was a familiar neighborhood. I could tell as I was walking that I obviously knew someone who lived in the area. As I kept walking in my dream I felt "uneasy" like a bit of nervousness came over me.
I approached this big stucco house with a big blue door. I knocked on the door and no one answered, but I kept knocking as if I KNEW someone was inside. Surely after knocking for awhile a person came to the door.
They stood there for a moment staring at me and then slammed the door shut!
I then preceded to knock on the door again, this time even harder. The person came to the door and stared at me for awhile in annoyance... then slammed the door again.
I preceded to knock a THIRD time this time yelling "Let Me In" ... and then again, they opened the door, only to slam it in my face.
The next part of my dream was this same house and this person opened the door, but this time they had on a jogging suit and began to put their running shoes on. So after they put the shoes on they went out for a jog and (you know how in a movie the camera is panned in really close up on one person and then pans out so you can see the whole picture) Well.... the person was jogging and the "camera" was close up on them and as it panned out... I could see ME.. running not to far behind them.
After I woke up from the dream the Lord spoke a very stern rebuke to me... "Stop Chasing Rejection, When the door is slammed in your face.. keep it closed and move forward Daughter, KNOW who you are in ME and Stop Chasing Rejection"
WOW!! Ok. so... for a very brief explanation- I have had the struggle of overcoming rejection. It was seed that was planted in me since childhood. Not knowing my biological father, being told he never wanted me, I was also rejected by my step father after he and my mom split. ... this played a BIG role in how I received and perceived things. In some way, shape, or form I was always "looking" to be rejected because so much of my identity was in rejection. It was just sort of expected. And usually if someone rejects you, normal people will turn away and keep it moving.. but not me, I've been one to chase after it like the dream said. If someone has consistently hurt me or rejected me I would keep reaching out, keep trying to have a relationship.
I don't think there's anything wrong w/ being a forgiver, but once someone rejects you (dismisses, moves out of an appointed place, cancels sets aside) You have to learn to accept that and move forward. Chasing rejection is like a dog chasing its tail... you get nowhere and you end up dizzy!!
Rejection in the greek means (atheteo) which translated is annul (to make of no effect or to break faith with)
Rejection by others is only painful to experience if our hearts are secretly looking to other people to declare our worth to us. If our hearts have become established in the knowledge of God’s love for us, as Jesus was, we can handle the pain of rejection as He did.
Rejection attacks the very person that we are. It destroys our self-esteem, and attacks who we are and our purpose in life. This is why it is one of the most common tools the devil will use to destroy a person's life. God never wanted us to feel rejected or abandon. He desires for you to know who you really are, and realize how deeply God loves, accepts, and appreciates you, so that you can live out the fullness of what all God has ordained you to be. God's Word tells us that without being rooted and grounded in the love (and acceptance) of God, we cannot experience the fullness of God in our lives:
And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fulness of God. Ephesians 3:19
Rejection has a lot of fruit which can widely vary from one person to another. Some of the common symptoms of rejection include
- Rebellion in both children and adults
- Fabricated personalities (being somebody you aren't, in order to be accepted)
- The tendency to reject others, so that you aren't the first one to be rejected
- A tendency to always wonder if a person rejects or accepts you
- The need to fit in or be accepted by others and be a part of everything
- Self-pity where a person feels bad for themselves being all alone
- Inability to be corrected or receive constructive criticism
- Rejection creates an environment where you are starved for love or just don't fit in
- A tendency to blame God ("Why did He give me this big nose? Why did God make me so short?")
- A sense of pride that says, "How dare they reject me!"
- Opinionated personality and the need to be right about things
- Feelings of worthlessness, insecurity, or hopelessness
- Seeking a parent's approval is a sign that your basing your identity upon what they think of you
- Envy, jealousy, and even hate can be rooted in rejection
- Fear of confrontation (because your identity is based upon what they think of you)
A person who has a hard time admitting they are wrong, or receiving constructive criticism has an underlying problem with rejection. How do we know that? Because they are basing their identity, who they are, upon their ability to be right about everything. Stubbornness can also be rooted in rejection as well for this same reason. They have to be right, or else they feel worthless... that's because "who they are" (their identity) is based upon them being right. This also ties in with opinionated personalities, who are always there to tell you all about something, even if they have little or no real understanding to speak from.
Then we have performance orientation and drivenness, certain variances of OCD, etc. where a person is basing their identity and who they are upon how well they perform at something in life. Whenever we base who we are upon our performance, or our being correct about something, then we fail, it is a blow to our identity.
Those who struggle with rejection can also become what I call fixers; A fixer is a person who is eager to tell everybody else how they need to be doing things, but many times have little understanding or experience in such matters. Such a person attempts to be the Holy Spirit in other people's lives, where they have no authority or right to step in. They find their identity in fixing other people's problems, and they love it when people come to them for help or advise.
The truth is that we were created to be loved, accepted, and appreciated. Rejection is an anti-Christ spirit because it opposes the very nature that God created in us. Rejection starves a person from love and acceptance that they were designed to receive. The problem is that when we turn to others or even ourselves for that love and acceptance, we are setting ourselves up for failure and the damage of rejection. Only God can be trusted as the source of our identity.
I pray that if you find yourself chasing rejection, finding your identity in rejection or feeling unaccepted that you'll pray to the father and ask Him to heal your hurts so you can truly walk in freedom and KNOW that you are unique. A fearfully and wonderfully made creation of Christ.
Love and Blessings!
Alisa
